Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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