just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
