How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
