An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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