feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
