Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
