hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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