I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
