i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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