how can u be prego again
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
