Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
