I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
