my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
