More tranny stories later!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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