You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
