come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is the high leading the old right now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
