she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
