Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
