ugly people sure do ruin things
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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