I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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