it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
