OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
