I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
