my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
