Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
