hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
