She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
