Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
