I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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