Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
