I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
