I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
