I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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