I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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