I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
