You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I need to stop coming to work sober
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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