He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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