DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
