Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
