I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
