He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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