we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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