Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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