Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
