drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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