I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
