You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i think my cat just said my name.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
