please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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