i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
