you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
