loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
